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But they are also probably trapped in a cycle of emotional disconnection and feel helpless to break it.Try to initiate conversations that are not about transactional details.Trying to outsource my sexual needs has proved almost impossible as married men looking for sex are considered to be pond scum by women in clubs. I haven't had sex with anyone for over a decade and if I had to do it all over again I would NEVER have gotten married.My sex life when I was single was rich and varied and continuous.You can also suggest certain activities that require little effort (which will minimize objections) such as walks around the block or in the park, cooking a meal together, watching your wedding video or your children’s (reminding yourselves of more connected times), organizing a photo album together, or writing a letter together to a common friend of family member. We actually have to close our eyes and focus for a few minutes (not seconds) on the other person’s perspective, imagining their world and their point of view within it.Gaining a greater understanding of your partner’s thoughts and feelings will allow you to express more sympathy and understanding toward them—in turn, deepening your mutual bond.As a result—and often without realizing we’re doing it—we become overly defensive and come across to others as detached, aloof, or even hostile, which only pushes them further away.
Loneliness depresses our immune system functioning, increasers inflammatory responses that put us at greater risk for cardiovascular disease, and can literally shorten our longevity.Long story short, affair ended, I was devastated and I finally just couldn't conitinue on with how everything was so I confronted my husband with my affair and his drinking.He became sober after a life altering event and had to come to the realization he was an addict.(See "How to Test Your Empathy.") Among the friends I've known since university days here in the SF Bay Area, the fellows who kept out of marriage are happier and strikingly healthier now, a couple decades later.
Marriage is not only depressing, it's incredibly aging.He used alcohol to dull the pain, just like I was in an affair to escape the unhappiness at home. Please do not resort to alcohol to cope, it is not the answer.