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But it's also tough, she adds, because once you're on the dating scene you can feel like a teenager again, in that shaky, unconfident, not-sure-if-he'll-call sort of way.So how can you make post-divorce dating — whether you're looking for a good time or a good (relationship-minded) man — less daunting?Dating after divorce can be a minefield for the midlife woman.Perhaps even thornier than pondering what to wear on a date, where to go, who pays — not to mention how you even find people to date in this brave new world of Internet match-ups — is getting over your reluctance to take a stab at it. "A divorced woman may feel very vulnerable at this stage, in part because she used to have a spouse to 'protect' her and now she has to go out into the world on her own," says Diana Kirschner, Ph D, author of .That said, don't let a fear of your children being upset or disapproving stop you from getting out there if you feel ready to."Too many women hide behind their kids as an excuse not to date," says Gadoua.Be up-front and respectful, but don't apologize for wanting to date."Most children just want their parent to be happy, and may be less likely to object than you imagine," she says.
If it's truly awful, you can take a step back and wait some more. Gadoua, who runs dating workshops for women, asks them to free-associate words that come to mind when they think of "dating." Not surprisingly, words like "awful" and "dreadful" come up.Even so, the presence of someone new, particularly when paraded in front of the spouse and/or children, can enrage the soon-to-be ex, and also create the suspicion that the relationship began as an “affair” before the separation.