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But somehow it doesn’t seem quite enough when you’re taking the first steps toward asking someone to love you for better or for worse.
I come with more worse than most people, and it’s only fair that I’m honest about that.
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She is hateful and self-pitying, withdrawn, listless, angry.She will try her best to hurt you, and lash out until she does.She’ll tell you she wishes she were dead, that she’s going to starve herself down to nothing.A couple of unhappy years with someone back home who loved me when I did not love him.
A good eight years were wasted on someone I dated briefly and became obsessed with once he ended it. I think there is still a lot more stigma than we admit, and every joke someone cracks about being “so OCD” makes it harder to explain that while you all think you’re totally cool with me being obsessive-compulsive, it’s a lot more than lining up pencils and touching the light switch.
All I can do is hope for the best, gingerly feel my way along, constantly remind myself to slow down and breathe, and not hurl myself headlong at the first half-decent man I meet.