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Because of that, she says they may actually suck you dry with their constant craving for compliments and attention. Narcissists can be such great manipulators that it takes someone who’s dating them quite a while to even pick up on it.Kane says the narcissist's need to control others has roots in one of their biggest fears: abandonment.
"It makes the person who’s dating them caught in a cycle of feeling like there’s something wrong with them.
There are many ways this can show up in your relationship, but even something as simple as them showing up late all the time and never apologizing or thinking about how their lateness affects you is a red flag. Narcissists believe themselves to be "special" and unique, and by extension believe they can only be appreciated by other "special" people.